Life in the Military

I've decided we need a "Hug a Member of the Military" day.  Seriously, these people do so much around this country and around the world -- most of which you do not see or you choose not to see because hiding our heads in the sand is less difficult than the realization of how much "crazy" there is in the universe -- they deserve our gratitude.  I know I go on a rant about this pretty much once a year, but there is a reason I'm doing this now.

The other day, my husband came home telling of a group of his peers who were out for lunch at a restaurant in downtown Moncton.  When they went to pay for their meals, the server told them it had been "taken care of" by another patron who wanted to show his appreciation.  How awesome is that?  How often do we take the time to say "thanks" to those men and women who sacrifice their time with their families to make this world a better place for people they've never met?  How many of us can say that we've done even one thing throughout our lives to make life better for a stranger?

So next time you see a member of the military, or any other of the service members out there (police officers, fire fighters, medical personnel to name a few), shake his/her hand, buy him or her a coffee, or just simply nod your head in recognition.  Thank them for the sacrifices they and their family have made for their -- and YOUR -- country.  Without these brave men and women, and the the support people who stand behind them, I guarantee your country, and this world, would not be what it is today.

The Pressure Cooker

Today has been a frustrating day for my kid ... mostly because I have a short temper and am not being "the adult" but am reacting to all her shenanigans with what would rival the whining and fighting skills of an 8-year-old (no offence to any 8-year-olds out there, by the way).  I'm thinking of changing my name from "Mom" to ANYTHING else just so I can ignore the constant repetition with a clear conscience!!!

 

On top of it all, I read a stupid/awesome book the other day that really made me re-think my parenting skills:  Honey, I Wrecked the Kids.  A friend sent this to me while my husband was overseas with the military and I was stressing about ... well, about everything.  At the time I was so completely offended by the name of the book -- how dare anyone say I was wrecking my kid??? -- that I tossed the book in a drawer with a curse and a slam, and never looked at it again.  Until a couple of months ago when I was desperate for some sleep and thought it would assist my insomnia.  Oddly, it did the opposite.  It intrigued me quite a bit.  The author's thought process made a lot of sense.  I thought I had found the holy grail of parenting.  This was it!  This was going to work!  I would not be a failure, a parent whose child learns to hate them before the kid hits double digits in age.  I would be raising a productive member of society who will work hard and completely avoid doing all the stupid things her mother did when she was [insert age here].

However, in putting some of the author's methods into play, I've found myself even more stressed out. There are still too many questions, too many up-in-the-airs for me to follow her instructions effectively.  I need some specific examples of what to say and when.  I need a step-by-step handbook with diagrams, examples and seating charts.  I can't be left to my own devices!!!  That will most certainly drive my child to drink/do drugs/make bad choices/end up pregnant at 9 and/or in jail with a pierced eyeball and horns growing out of her head (those are still cool, right???).  *sigh*

Oh, how I long for the sweet bliss ignorance brought me before I opened this wretched book ...

Why do we allow ourselves to get caught up in all the opinions and ideas about parenting out there?  Is it really because we want to give our kids the best chance at this "game" of life or is it that we don't want regrets or remorse about how things go down at the end of the day?  We want a clear conscience that we did the best we could with the skills we had.  And maybe that's it:  we, as parents, need to trust what our gut is telling us and not just rely on everything "they" are saying.  I need to give my girl what she needs and what we as parents believe is best, and leave it at that.  Sometimes you've just gotta let it all go and allow things to go the way they are supposed to go. We make mistakes, we lose our cool, we're not perfect.  So we chat with our kids about that behaviour and move on.

Until then, this kid's gotta grow up and act her age ... after all, I'm a lot cuter at 42 than I was at 8.  : P

oodles of cute

Can you hear her telling stories?

Stinkin' ... cute, that is.  : D

xo

♥

Now I can hear the giggles!!!

Sugar and spice

I hear more tall tales being woven ... I love her imagination!

Learning to swing on the "big girl" swing

Egg-zaw-sted after a weekend playing with her BFF Isaiah

Super Princess of the War Paint!

Another dose of King's Ice Cream -- YUM

Bouncy Castle - Canada Day 2011

Ice cream for lunch - I love Canada Day

Daddy,  I made you something!!!!

Cheeeeeeeeze!

Definitely a beach girl

Stirring up the sea

Hamming it up

Maaike's Lulubelle - They have long chats before bed every night.

See, I still fit in the Bumbo!

Pirate princess @ Crystal Palace

I'm Glad I Didn't Miss That

Stealing this title from a friend (and fellow SAHM).  She decided to add this as a regular post on her blog to remind herself why being a SAHM is important to her, and why other things can wait.  Well, this is one of the things I'm glad I didn't miss ...

Emotional Me

Early on in our relationship, Andrew & I both expressed our mutual desire to own a cottage someday.  In 2004, when we were still D.I.N.Ks (double income, no kids), we were presented with an opportunity to own a little cottage on a great piece of property with waterfrontage on a lovely lake just over an hour from where we lived in Halifax.  We thought we had hit the big time!  We loved that place, spent every weekend and all our vacations there, had family & friends stay with us, made long term plans, toyed with different renovation ideas, and purchased items to make our dream cottage a reality.  We even got engaged on the deck, and then had our wedding barefoot on the beach of this property we loved.  People still talk about our wedding and how awesome it was!  Great memories.

Our wedding photo on the beach at the cottage

Life being as it may, it changes.  We were blessed with our amazing daughter just months before Andrew's job moved us to New Brunswick.  We were determined to keep the cottage corner of our world in tact and even turned down a request from a potential purchaser shortly after our move to Moncton.  However, although we were a mere 4 hours away from our "home away from home", with the addition of an active toddler, our weekend excursions there got fewer and farther between. The cottage showed its displeasure in our new lifestyle and lack of attention.  It seemed the more work we had to do there made us want to go there less and less.  As vicious cycles work, this, in turn, created more work.

View of cottage from the middle of the bay

This year Andrew was told our dream of returning to Nova Scotia would likely not become a reality any time in the near future and that our paths were likely moving further west rather than east.  This brought a new dilemma: do we hang onto our cottage dream and watch it deteriorate further when we are unsure whether we'd ever be able to return to a place where we'd be able to frequent it, or do we bite the bullet and sell in order to move forward with the rest of our lives?  It was a heart wrenching and very difficult decision.  The place itself no longer held my love, but the memories ... ah, the memories!!!

Cleo basking in the sun on the lake's edge

It took a few months and a lot of going back and forth, but we finally listed the property with a realtor last month.  I cried when we left that day, knowing I'd likely never be back to this slice of the world that held so many treasured thoughts in my mind.  

Yesterday we received a phone call that we have an offer -- a cash offer with no conditions.  I felt sick, I felt excited, I felt nervous, I felt giddy ... and I felt sad.  The reality of this is a little difficult for me to comprehend, despite the logic of the reasons we are moving on.  How can a slice of this earth, a pile of wood and nails (literally!), a bunch of trees and a view have such a hold on me?  I know its the right decision, but that doesn't lessen the knot at the pit of my stomach.  

The cottage as it looks today ... poor old girl needs a little TLC.

I think I'm having a hard time letting go of the dream rather than the reality.  I loved saying we owned a lakefront cottage in NS, that it was not handed down from our relatives but ours exclusively and we worked hard to purchase it ourselves.  And, on top of it all, that it was totally paid for!  But the reality is that we would still not be able to spend much time there, and even if we did, the place doesn't hold the same meaning to us as a family as it did to us as a couple.  The neighbours have different priorities than we do which makes it difficult for us to (a) have privacy and (b) enjoy our time there uninterrupted.  And the work that is required to bring it to a place where we want to spend a great amount of time there is more than we can handle on one salary, especially commuting from a different province.

So it is with a heavy heart, but a clear conscience, that I sign the papers passing on this piece of our world to someone else.  I hope they have half the enjoyment we received from it over the years.

A view of the bay from our cottage ... many lazy afternoons were spent here just enjoying life.

In the end, we must remember it is not the place that has the memories, it is our hearts.  

And no one can ever take that away.

***

UPDATE:  AT NOON THE DEAL FELL THROUGH.  WELCOME TO MY ROLLER COASTER!

Why Don't You Go Fly a Kite!?!?!

Our Day in Headlines

Bossy Three-year-old Spends Day Telling Her Mom What to Do


Sun Comes Out As Soon As the Last Load of Laundry Comes Out of the Dryer


Mom Found Rocking in the Corner after Attempts to do More Laundry and Utilize the Drying Properties of the Clothesline Yields Only One Thing:  RAIN


Family of Three Awoken 3 Times During the Night by (Thankfully) Faulty Smoke Alarm:  Sheets Need to be Cleaned.


Record Achieved for Number of Videos Child Can Watch in One Stretch:  Mom Says She'll do Anything to Ensure Child Gets the Rest She Needs to Kick this Cold


Same High Achieving Family also sets Record for Number of Futile Arguments Between Tired Mom and Sick Child


Stay at Home Mom Declares Sick Days with a 3YO "Boring and Unproductive"


42YO Woman Yanks Out Own Hair


"Do Not Make Cupcakes out of Angel Food Cake Mix", says Frustrated Woman as She Pitches her Ruined Muffin Tins in the Garbage


"The Wrong Side of the Door is the One I'm Always On", barks Dog


Caucasian Woman Insists Hardworking Husband Make His Own Dinner


Beautiful Princess Toddler Professes Undying Love for Mother:  Mother Vows, "I'll Do It All Again Tomorrow!"