Thankful Thursday

This week I'm thankful for ...

~ snow and the joy it puts on my daughter's face.  She would spend the entire day (and night!) out there playing and tromping around in it if we would let her;

~ an extra snowsuit for Maaike ... 'cause when one is wet, it's SO handy to have another available;

~ coffee after some long nights with a coughing child;

~ Breaking Dawn and catching up with friends;

~ my newly shorn dog and the fact that I don't have to vacuum fur bunnies every 5 minutes;

~ my husband, who loves me despite (and tolerates all) my whackiness, and supports me no matter what;

~ passing the 30 minutes I had to spend colouring my hair on the phone with my Mom;

~ my Mom.  She would shake her head to hear it, but she's one of the strongest people I know.  I don't know how she handles it all without complaint;

~ brunch with a friend who is moving back across the water far too soon;

~ my bank card and the fact that it just keeps working and working and working (ha!)!!!  How did we ever survive without these little genius inventions?

~ my morning exercise routine that keeps me sane and fit at the same time;

~ the fact that it's only one month until Christmas Eve ... !!!

~ being able to stay at home and help raise the most amazing, incredible, inventive, curious, imaginative, smart, awesome and adorable little girl on the planet.  She is, bar none, my proudest achievement.

Gak!

Overwhelmed?  Check.
Panicking?  Uh-huh.
Unsure?  Absolutely.
Freaking out?  Definitely!

Why, you ask?  Well, because it's November, of course.  The weather is lovely, the flowers are still blooming, I wore shorts on my run this morning ... but these are not things to spaz about (except in a happy, excited way!)  No, my psyche has more important issues to deal with at this moment.  Yes, it's November and that means that there are only three to four short months until we will find out where our next post will be.  While I'm pretty easy going about (and used to) moving, I have to say the feelings going along with this one are blindsiding me a bit.  Don't get me wrong.  We're pretty organized, and have been getting the house in order ~~ fixing those things that need to be fixed prior to the house going on the market, getting rid of things we don't need, cleaning things up ~~ so we don't have all that work to do when time is of the essence.

Oh, no.  The anxiety flowing through my veins comes from the fact that, along with this next move, some other BIG changes are coming in our simple little life.  First off, Momma's going to have to go back to work.  Which isn't a bad thing, really.  In fact, I've been craving it a wee bit.  Stressing the wee, mind you, but you know what I mean.  Of course, that also means there has to be a job for me to go back to, which may be a challenge even though I'll have the assistance of the Public Service.  Also, rumour has it I can't bring little Miss M with me so our girl has to go to daycare full-time for the first time in her life.  And then there's the stress that comes with trying to buy a house in a place where you don't yet have a job and therefore can't include the 2nd income in the money-giver's calculation of what you can afford.  And now that we've got a kid who will be going to school possibly as early as next September, getting in the right school district is key.  Which means we'll need that extra cash to live in the area we want to live in to get her into the right school.  I'm exhausted thinking about it!

I can't imagine the adjustment to seeing my kid for just a few hours a day.  Although I always knew this day would come, it snuck up on me and I'm having trouble wrapping my mind around it!  I'm sure everything will fall into place, but I'm a planner and a worry-wart.  Not a good combination in a situation over which I have absolutely and shockingly no control.

Alas, here I sit wasting one of my last days as a full-time Momma worrying my fool head off.  What good does it do to overthink things?  Que sera sera ... whatever will be, will be.  When will I get that through my thick skull?  This is not such a horrible thing.  We are all healthy, I have had the opportunity to stay home with M for the past four glorious years, which were even a year longer than we thought possible.  We have everything we need.  Must.  Let.  It.  Go.

And now I think I'll go buy a lottery ticket ... you know, just in case.  : P