Lately I have been ...

... panicking. Andrew meets with his career manager in the next couple of weeks and we find out if he will be posted out of Moncton. I am not ready to go back to work and the prospect of my full-time SAHM status coming to an end makes me want to throw up! And, of course, cherish every moment with our girl. Fingers crossed for one more year, please?

... eating way too much. Is it the extreme cold temps that make my body crave all things bad for me? I am a carb-a-holic, I can't keep my hands out of the cookie jar, and have started this stupid mid-morning snack routine that HAS to stop!

... pushing myself running-wise, working on increasing my speed. Yet also taking my long runs back a notch. It's working for me. So far.

... thinking about adding extra days to my workout routine. I currently exercise every other morning, with one long run on the weekends. I am sure this desire comes as a result of the second point listed above. *doh*

... rearranging furniture, cleaning out closets, washing baseboards, organizing to a fault. Is this a sort of winter wackiness that comes from living in a freezing climate surrounded by mounds of snow that are so large they hide buildings? Or is it simply my psyche's way of telling me that I'm bored with my surroundings and yearning something different? If this is the case, psyche MUST STOP. See point #1 above! Panic!

... missing my friends. Maaike's schedule no longer leaves a morning free for playdates with my Mommy friends, and I'm missing them!

... feeling disconnected from a certain someone who is having some issues that are all too familiar to me. I am coming to a genuine understanding of how difficult it was for my friends and family to step back, not pressure and still be supportive without "offending" when I was going through the same issues. Praying that God gives me the right words to say, and the good sense to keep my flapping gums shut when appropriate. REALLY need to work on that one.

... going through a sense of "outsider-ness" (okay, maybe it's not a word but it should be!) around my women friends who are having their 2nd and 3rd children.

... enjoying a truck-load of "firsts" for Maaike this month: first day of pre-school; first hair cut; first trip to the dentist; first time tobogganing by herself; first snowman built ...

... longing for some green grass, a ray of warm sunshine, sand between my toes, and maybe a pretty cocktail with an umbrella. Fruitless, really, when we're in the middle of a deep freeze and the forecast is calling for more snow. But a girl can dream ... right????