The Dutch♥Irish Connection: October 2010

Just when you think you're doing a great job with your kid, life throws you a curve ball.

As many of you know, we started potty training Maaike around the first of July. At some point during this process, maybe about a month in, she got a rash and started refusing to poop on the potty. She would stand in the middle of the room and work at NOT allowing anything to come out. It was a struggle for her, and us, and I read many, many articles and books about the subject. My biggest fear was a bowel obstruction, as these things happen on occasion with toddlers. Fortunately, things were still "moving", so to speak, and this worry never really re-entered our minds.

Flash forward about 2 months and our DD has way more bowel movements in the course of a day than any normal human being should have, and she ends up with a mother of a rash on her little cheeks. This was nasty. It got to the point where she would refuse to allow me to change her bum 'cause it hurt so much. But, of course, I had to ensure the area was clean or we'd never get rid of this rash. And so it was a vicious circle. The more she soiled her pull-up, the more inflamed the rash would become, the more it would hurt and the less she'd allow herself to go. It got to the point where I had to literally hold her down to clean her, as gently as I could with as little wipes as possible, and she would be screaming, "No, Momma! No! Is hurt! Is sore!" She was even calling this out in her sleep, just to break my heart a wee bit more ...

After many tears of frustration and pain (on both our parts), we went to the clinic. There they gave us a prescription medication for her rash and told me to go see our family doctor to get them to run tests to determine whether she had a bacterial infection in her intestine. Of course, getting in to see our doctor is like pulling teeth; however, I did get a tentative appointment three days later.

By the next day, things had not improved at all, and actually seemed to be getting worse. After a call to the clinic once again, they suggested I present her at the ER so that the necessary tests could be done. I guess the clinics aren't able to order these tests (which I think is silly, but it's NB, what more can I say???) ... So a large bag was packed full of pull-ups, wipes, food, toys, and her DVD player to keep her occupied, and off we went to the ER. Of course, her DVD player's batteries died within 10 minutes of us arriving, so we had to find other forms of entertainment, but this amazing child of ours was a real trooper. Only after 4.5 hours of sitting in the waiting area (and 7 very painful BMs later) and at a point where I, too, was getting frustrated at having not even been seen by a doctor yet, did she even mention, "Momma, wets go home."

When they finally did see her, we were sent for an x-ray where they determined that, yes, she has a bowel obstruction, likely due to potty training issues. What??? But she's still having movements! Lots of them! Yes, they said, it's actually leaking around the 5 cm obstruction in her bowel, and these leaks she cannot control. Which is why we didn't know 1/2 the time that she had a dirty pull-up, and she was having 7-10 BMs a day. And what we thought was her holding things in over the last 2 months was actually her trying to push things around her little obstruction. My poor baby girl! I felt like I had failed her miserably. : (

We were sent home with a prescription for a gentle laxative and some more cream for her rash, as well as strict instructions to return by the weekend for an enema if things hadn't improved.

And unfortunately things didn't improve.

So on Friday when we went to see our family dr, I pleaded with her to give me a prescription for an enema so I could relieve my little girl's pain. Thankfully the doc obliged, and when Daddy got home from school on Friday afternoon we prepped the room, set up the video, gave M her comfort items (Ted & Nuk), and started the procedure. It was not as bad as I had envisioned it would be, and within 15 minutes the blockage was gone. M's first words were, "My belly no hurt anymore!" Thank the Lord!

We are now on day 3 post-enema and things are moving along slowly, but without ANY effort whatsoever. I think it surprises her every time how little she needs to work at it anymore! She has to remain on laxatives for two more weeks to keep things moving, and we are to refrain from mentioning potty training whatsoever (don't worry, I'm in no hurry to cross that bridge again at this time!). She does still use the potty to pee, but she's back in pull-ups full-time.

I'm really trying hard to not be too disappointed -- in myself. Hearing everyone training their kids made me anxious to start and complete the process as well. After all, who doesn't want to be diaper free?!?! But the important thing is not am I ready to be rid of my bum changing duties, is SHE? So often we're trying to "keep up with the Joneses", especially when it comes to our children's development. If a child misses a milestone that his or her peers have reached without much effort, we, as parents, feel pressure and worry and concern that our little one isn't showing interest, or developing at the same pace.

What we need to remember is that every child is different. It's not a failure to not get teeth right away, or to not walk before the age of 1, or to wait until 3 or older to potty train. These are some of the things that make your kid who she is. I don't want a kid that's like everyone else's in all other aspects, why should I expect that developmentally she needs to be? From here on in, I'm going to try to not "sweat the small stuff". 'Cause, like the book says, it really is all small stuff ...

I've been talking about doing this for MONTHS, but I finally got up the nerve to cut my hair off. Short. REALLY SHORT. I actually surveyed a bunch of my friends 'cause I was so nervous I was making the wrong decision, and it brought it down to two different cuts. Although most people sided with the other version, my hairdresser was worried about how it would suit MY hair and thought it may not reduce my morning routine by much at all ... so I bit the bullet and buzzed it all off.

Maaike didn't recognize me when I picked her up after my appointment, and then started giggling saying, "What happened?" May take some getting used to for all of us (I keep doing a double-take when I catch a glimpse in the mirror), but I like it and I think it's going to be so easy to manage! No more blow dryers and flat irons, just a little bit of "finger action" ... ; )

A new and improved Autumn "me" ... !!!