LCIAI - Part III

Well, things are progressing along quite well here in the Ottawa Valley.  Although I'm still waking up with a swollen eye on my left side, it goes away shortly after I get up ... and I'm reassured by my surgeon that, although it's some sort of spinal fluid that's accumulating at the surgery site, it shouldn't cause me much concern ... unless, of course, it gets worse.  And it's not getting worse so I'm continuing on with my life.

I'm actually quite excited today because it's my first day on my own since my surgery 6.5 weeks ago!  I'm still not allowed to drive but hubby and I decided that, in order for me to maintain my sanity (and hopefully retain what self-confidence I have left), we would try having me at home by myself this week.  With Andrew's schedule making him available to come to my aid at a moment's notice, it just makes sense for us to try this.  All I can say to this is WOO-FRIKKEN-HOO!

Which brings me back to my husband.  My amazing and wonderful partner who has gone through hell and back over the last couple of months.  I can't imagine being in his position and watching the person he loves go through what I had to go through, let alone the anger and attitude that resulted from some of the post-surgery pain I suffered and directed at him.  I didn't even have any idea what a bear I was from the severe headaches that plagued me a few days after surgery.  He's a saint in my eyes and I will never be able to thank him enough. ♥

And those nurses that have to deal with people like me on a daily basis should also be lauded for their patience and understanding.  I honestly don't remember even half of what I did, heard or said in the days after surgery.  It's quite embarrassing and mortifying to realize what your body can do to protect you from pain.

I also have a say a special thanks to my parents and Andrew's Mom and step-father who have gone above and beyond to spend the last 6 weeks sharing time with me when I couldn't be alone -- helping me to clean my house, do my laundry and run errands around town that I was unable to do on my own.  I am truly blessed with all my family & friends.  I certainly couldn't have gotten through this without them.

There was a reason we ended up where we are and I'm so happy that everything has turned out the way it has.  Only 2 more weeks and we have a follow-up with Dr. S at the Civic.  Can't wait to see what he says and to bounce my two-page list of questions off of him.  Hm.  Maybe I should call his assistant and ask her for a 2 hour appointment???  :)

The moral of this "story"?  Always remember and never forget to be thankful and enjoy each and every day.  You never know what tomorrow will bring.  And appreciate those around you.  It's amazing to me how many people will rally in support of you in the time of need.

To all of those people, and you know who you are, thank you.  From the bottom of my heart.  xoxo

LCIAI - Part III

... it's coming ... honestly!

LCIAI - Part II

Continuation of previous post ...

On August 30th we arrived at the Ottawa Civic Hospital at the crack of dawn for a surgery I'm still convinced happened to someone else.  I never anticipated hearing the word "craniotomy" in direct association with my name.  I'm a Mom to a 4 year old!  How on earth did I have time to grow a 4 cm tumor in my head, let alone a second smaller one?

I've been told this amazing surgeon I was referred to is one of the best ... if not THE best ...  brain surgeon in Canada.  And, on top of it all, he's personable, treats his patients AND his staff with respect, and polishes off his all-round self with a pretty great sense of humour.  Seriously.  Sounds pretty unreal.  And if I hadn't met him myself, I wouldn't believe he existed.  I hope I never have to, but I would highly recommend this fabulous guy anytime!

Despite what I thought, I didn't have to shave my entire head.  The doc only shaved a strip over the top of my head from ear to ear. Thus began a 12 hour surgery I wish I knew less about.  I'll just say it involved words like removal, peel, titanium plates, path lab and suction.  'Nuff said, right?  Right.  Might I just add that the OCH has some of the kindest employees; from nurses to doctors and therapists, let alone my surgeon's assistant whom I think helps to elevate him to angelic status.  I was treated so incredibly well, with respect and kindness, I almost didn't beg to go home after a few days.  Almost.  Of course, when I did ask, the doc snickered at me and strolled away shaking his head.  And thankfully so. I was in no way ready to venture out on my own!

Apparently, I didn't know the extent of my post-surgery "wounds".  Or I was, at the very least, in denial of the reason I couldn't see through eyes that were completely swollen shut,  bruises from fingertip to arm pit, and a headache that rivalled a jack-hammer pounding on my head.  That is, until I accidentally looked in the mirror while washing my hands in the bathroom one day approximately a week after surgery.

They should warn you or black out any reflective glass in the rooms of patients after such an operation!  The instant I saw myself, the air left the room and I started to cry.  I had absolutely no idea who was looking back at me in the glass.  That person had black, puffy eyes; bruises from cheek bone to chest; and the biggest scar across her head that anyone could imagine unless they were watching a slasher flick.  I also wasn't prepared for the memory loss, the dizziness, the struggle for words and the emotions that flowed so easily down my cheeks.  I didn't remember the surgery, or much after it, how could I be so bruised and broken from something which, in my mind and memory, didn't exist?

After 10 days in-hospital (and many requests), I was finally allowed to head home.  This under the premise that I not be allowed to drive, lift anything over 10 lbs., walk without a walker (until I was steady on my feet), and essentially not be alone until my follow-up with the surgeon at the end of October.

So, while trying to continue on with my life and trying not to hide away, my family and I have dealt with weeks of people staring at my bruises and scars with sympathy, and then at Andrew with contempt.  We actually had one woman ask me at a restaurant during a washroom break on our way home from the hospital (while picking up her jaw from the floor and glaring at Andrew) if I was okay.  I find this so frustrating!  Andrew is such a kind-hearted man and anyone who knows him knows what these people were thinking is beyond the realm of possibility when it comes to him!  But, as he would, he doesn't let it get to him.  He just takes it in stride and lets them think what they think.  One of the reasons I love him even more.

More about those reasons to come ...