Giving Selfishly

"I have found that among its other benefits, giving liberates the soul of the giver."  

Maya Angelou

This past week, a friend of mine put the call out for donations for a family in need. Actually a woman and her two young children who were just leaving a "safe house" in the area and starting over.  These moments always remind me of how much we really have, and how much we have that we really don't need, so I started piling things in boxes and bags by the front door. 


At one point during the day, my 3-year-old walked by one of the bags and stopped abruptly.  With huge panicked eyes, she asked what the bags and boxes were for and, more importantly, where her "Tyrone" was going.  I must admit, although I knew she was totally gaga over Tyrone from the Backyardigans, I never associated the yellow, striped-shirt wearing cartoon moose of her affections with this brown stuffed moose in the red Christmas toque and scarf.  In fact, I didn't know she even noticed this particular moose in our house.  I had never seen her play with it more than once over the past year when it was "won" at a potluck dinner toy-swap, which is why I thought it might be an item she wouldn't miss if I included it with our donations.  And this might have been the case had I been a little more discreet.

However, this slip-up on my part provided me with an opportunity to teach my daughter the importance of sharing.  Not sharing your toys with your friends knowing you'll get them back at the end of the day, but sharing your "wealth".  We, as a family, are truly blessed.  While we don't necessarily have everything we want (seriously, who does?), we certainly have everything we need -- and then some.  People have been so generous with us over the years.  The spirit of giving is definitely something I wanted my daughter to experience.  What better time than the present?

I sat her down and explained that there was a little girl, not much younger than she, who didn't have any toys.  She didn't have a teddy to go to bed with, she didn't have books to read, she didn't have puzzles and dolls to play with.  Initially, my daughter thought this meant she would have to give away her own precious Teddy, her most-read books and her favourite doll.  Once I explained that wasn't the case, she immediately hopped on board and began filling a bag.  She put things in that bag I never would have thought she'd part with -- toys I know she actually does play with pretty regularly.  I asked her several times if she was sure, and reminded her she wouldn't be getting these toys back, they were going to live with another little girl.  She understood and was ok with that.  She kept asking if the little girl would like this toy or that toy.  "Does she have instruments, Momma?  Does she have this book?"

Watching her give freely of her things put a lump in my throat and my eyes stung with tears.  Her little heart opened up.  She wanted to help to put a smile on the face of a little girl she had never met.
Some people think that giving is a selfless gesture, something we do for others.  But it's not.  Today I was rewarded.  My darling daughter's excitement to give lifted my spirit.  And this, in turn, LIBERATED MY SOUL.

How selfish is that?