The "P" Word

A topic my friends and family are tired of hearing about, but I need an outlet or I'm going to go berserk!!!

The "P" Word. It's the first thing the docs want to see from your babe before you leave the hospital, and forever after becomes a big deal in the life of a momma. What colour it is, its texture, and how often your new little cutie is making one. Then there comes a point when you want your LO to put that "P" word in the other taboo "P" word, hoping that, at least eventually, life will become easier. HA!

In our house, you can use either "P" word separately without much ado; however, using both "P" Words anywhere near each other and the tiniest member of our family will go into hysterics.

The "P" Words of which I speak are "Poop" and "Potty". Two seemingly normal words which, when training a 2-year-old, can wreak havoc on the lives of an entire family.

I am so incredibly frustrated with this situation and am feeling so alone in my struggle to find the answer. You would think SOMEONE out there has gone through this, has dealt with a little anti-poopster who squeezes her little bum cheeks together so tightly when she needs to go she makes herself blocked up to the point of needing enemas. Everyone's situations are different. I've been told/read everything from "don't talk about it" to "hold her down on the potty when she's holding it in and she won't have a choice" (which, in dealing with a child with a stubborn streak that matches only my own, only serves to strengthen the muscles of her little sphincter!). In other words, so far, nothing is working.

I have promised (and delivered) sweet treats, have rewarded little successes with great events and fabulous presents; I have sat with her for seemingly endless periods of time while she sits on the potty reading her books & singing songs. I have bought a special "magic" Dora potty seat that doesn't "allow" it to hurt; I've kept my lips shut for weeks on end, saying absolutely nothing; I've changed her diet (a diet that was already pretty good) to help things "move along"; I've offered for her to sit on the potty with her pull-up on; we've done panties full-time and pull-ups full time ... and here we sit after having had to give her yet ANOTHER enema over the weekend due to an intestinal blockage.

I want to cry.
I want to scream.
I want to (and have unsuccessfully tried to) explain things to her at her level.
I want to do it for her.

And, ultimately, I want to give up ...

Unfortunately, in our situation it's not a choice of giving up and just allowing her to poop in her pull-ups. Because she's holding it in DESPITE the fact that she's wearing a pull-up. She won't sit down to poop, she needs to stand and hold it in. Even after administering the enema, she wants to stand and tries desperately not to let it out. She hates the enema and I tell her that until she learns to poop on the potty, she's going to end up having more and more "bum medicine" (as she calls it). She agrees to do whatever it takes as long as she doesn't have to have more "bum medicine" ... until the time comes that she needs to poop. Then it's a major tantrum and she doesn't want to cooperate, no matter what the outcome.

This thing is obviously bigger than I am ... I'm at a loss.

There's gotta be something SOMEONE can tell me that will help. SOMEONE MUST have gone through this exact situation before. I'm ready to take out a full-page ad nation-wide just to get an answer and resolve the problem once and for all!

Maybe next time she gets a blockage, I'll drive the 3.5 hours to the IWK Children's Hospital in Halifax and see if THEY can help me. I'm desperate!!!!