Thankful Thursday

This week I'm thankful for ...

~ snow and the joy it puts on my daughter's face.  She would spend the entire day (and night!) out there playing and tromping around in it if we would let her;

~ an extra snowsuit for Maaike ... 'cause when one is wet, it's SO handy to have another available;

~ coffee after some long nights with a coughing child;

~ Breaking Dawn and catching up with friends;

~ my newly shorn dog and the fact that I don't have to vacuum fur bunnies every 5 minutes;

~ my husband, who loves me despite (and tolerates all) my whackiness, and supports me no matter what;

~ passing the 30 minutes I had to spend colouring my hair on the phone with my Mom;

~ my Mom.  She would shake her head to hear it, but she's one of the strongest people I know.  I don't know how she handles it all without complaint;

~ brunch with a friend who is moving back across the water far too soon;

~ my bank card and the fact that it just keeps working and working and working (ha!)!!!  How did we ever survive without these little genius inventions?

~ my morning exercise routine that keeps me sane and fit at the same time;

~ the fact that it's only one month until Christmas Eve ... !!!

~ being able to stay at home and help raise the most amazing, incredible, inventive, curious, imaginative, smart, awesome and adorable little girl on the planet.  She is, bar none, my proudest achievement.

Gak!

Overwhelmed?  Check.
Panicking?  Uh-huh.
Unsure?  Absolutely.
Freaking out?  Definitely!

Why, you ask?  Well, because it's November, of course.  The weather is lovely, the flowers are still blooming, I wore shorts on my run this morning ... but these are not things to spaz about (except in a happy, excited way!)  No, my psyche has more important issues to deal with at this moment.  Yes, it's November and that means that there are only three to four short months until we will find out where our next post will be.  While I'm pretty easy going about (and used to) moving, I have to say the feelings going along with this one are blindsiding me a bit.  Don't get me wrong.  We're pretty organized, and have been getting the house in order ~~ fixing those things that need to be fixed prior to the house going on the market, getting rid of things we don't need, cleaning things up ~~ so we don't have all that work to do when time is of the essence.

Oh, no.  The anxiety flowing through my veins comes from the fact that, along with this next move, some other BIG changes are coming in our simple little life.  First off, Momma's going to have to go back to work.  Which isn't a bad thing, really.  In fact, I've been craving it a wee bit.  Stressing the wee, mind you, but you know what I mean.  Of course, that also means there has to be a job for me to go back to, which may be a challenge even though I'll have the assistance of the Public Service.  Also, rumour has it I can't bring little Miss M with me so our girl has to go to daycare full-time for the first time in her life.  And then there's the stress that comes with trying to buy a house in a place where you don't yet have a job and therefore can't include the 2nd income in the money-giver's calculation of what you can afford.  And now that we've got a kid who will be going to school possibly as early as next September, getting in the right school district is key.  Which means we'll need that extra cash to live in the area we want to live in to get her into the right school.  I'm exhausted thinking about it!

I can't imagine the adjustment to seeing my kid for just a few hours a day.  Although I always knew this day would come, it snuck up on me and I'm having trouble wrapping my mind around it!  I'm sure everything will fall into place, but I'm a planner and a worry-wart.  Not a good combination in a situation over which I have absolutely and shockingly no control.

Alas, here I sit wasting one of my last days as a full-time Momma worrying my fool head off.  What good does it do to overthink things?  Que sera sera ... whatever will be, will be.  When will I get that through my thick skull?  This is not such a horrible thing.  We are all healthy, I have had the opportunity to stay home with M for the past four glorious years, which were even a year longer than we thought possible.  We have everything we need.  Must.  Let.  It.  Go.

And now I think I'll go buy a lottery ticket ... you know, just in case.  : P

Family Pics

We got our family pics done this year -- professionally.  And I say that tongue in cheek.  We have had awesome friends do photo shoots for us and they turned out just as nice.  Unfortunately, said friend went and moved away so we had to look at alternatives.  The pics are brilliant, despite the fact that they totally broke the bank!  I don't think we'll go this way again, but here's a little sneak peak ... once Christmas passes I'll post more.  : )

 

I'm Hooked

Since completing my half-marathon two weeks ago, I have been enjoying some "down time" in my running schedule: sleeping in, skipping days, and running random distances and times.  Without a goal race ahead of me, it's easy to pull the covers up over my head when the alarm goes off ... or, more frequently, to shut the dang thing off before it gets a chance to alert others of my good intentions to head out the door.

This morning was one of those mornings.  It seemed extra dark, the rain was pelting the window and the wind was undeniably making its blustery presence known.  I awoke, as I often do, two minutes before the clock's buzzer.  In those few moments between sleep and wake, I contemplated my morning's trek, comparing it to the cozy, warmth of my present location.

Oddly, my pillow didn't win.

You see, I love to run.  Not only do I enjoy the benefits it gives me physically, it heals me mentally.  And who doesn't need a little mental mending now and again?  Also, I especially love to run in the rain.  Why?  I'm not sure.  It probably sounds a little crazy to those of you who do not run.  Is it an extra sense of accomplishment because I'm out there even in the crappiest of weather ... in today's case that, had it been a mere 8 degrees colder, would have been a blizzard of genuine Nor'Easter proportions?  Is it that the rain keeps me cool, and washes away the salty effort from my body?  Is it the musical beat the drops make as they hit the pavement along side my sneakers?  Who knows.  But it is sincerely my favourite time to run.

So I did.

I'll admit, the first five minutes had me questioning my own sanity.  But once I got over that hump, I had the best run.  The kind of run where you get to the end and you say, "Really?  It's over already?"  And the bonus?  Upon my return to our cozy little home, I was greeted by my loving husband, a towel, my big fluffy housecoat ... and the smell of coffee brewing in the kitchen.

TOTALLY worth leaving the warmth of my bed in the pre-dawn hours.  And totally the best start to the day!

Giving Selfishly

"I have found that among its other benefits, giving liberates the soul of the giver."  

Maya Angelou

This past week, a friend of mine put the call out for donations for a family in need. Actually a woman and her two young children who were just leaving a "safe house" in the area and starting over.  These moments always remind me of how much we really have, and how much we have that we really don't need, so I started piling things in boxes and bags by the front door. 


At one point during the day, my 3-year-old walked by one of the bags and stopped abruptly.  With huge panicked eyes, she asked what the bags and boxes were for and, more importantly, where her "Tyrone" was going.  I must admit, although I knew she was totally gaga over Tyrone from the Backyardigans, I never associated the yellow, striped-shirt wearing cartoon moose of her affections with this brown stuffed moose in the red Christmas toque and scarf.  In fact, I didn't know she even noticed this particular moose in our house.  I had never seen her play with it more than once over the past year when it was "won" at a potluck dinner toy-swap, which is why I thought it might be an item she wouldn't miss if I included it with our donations.  And this might have been the case had I been a little more discreet.

However, this slip-up on my part provided me with an opportunity to teach my daughter the importance of sharing.  Not sharing your toys with your friends knowing you'll get them back at the end of the day, but sharing your "wealth".  We, as a family, are truly blessed.  While we don't necessarily have everything we want (seriously, who does?), we certainly have everything we need -- and then some.  People have been so generous with us over the years.  The spirit of giving is definitely something I wanted my daughter to experience.  What better time than the present?

I sat her down and explained that there was a little girl, not much younger than she, who didn't have any toys.  She didn't have a teddy to go to bed with, she didn't have books to read, she didn't have puzzles and dolls to play with.  Initially, my daughter thought this meant she would have to give away her own precious Teddy, her most-read books and her favourite doll.  Once I explained that wasn't the case, she immediately hopped on board and began filling a bag.  She put things in that bag I never would have thought she'd part with -- toys I know she actually does play with pretty regularly.  I asked her several times if she was sure, and reminded her she wouldn't be getting these toys back, they were going to live with another little girl.  She understood and was ok with that.  She kept asking if the little girl would like this toy or that toy.  "Does she have instruments, Momma?  Does she have this book?"

Watching her give freely of her things put a lump in my throat and my eyes stung with tears.  Her little heart opened up.  She wanted to help to put a smile on the face of a little girl she had never met.
Some people think that giving is a selfless gesture, something we do for others.  But it's not.  Today I was rewarded.  My darling daughter's excitement to give lifted my spirit.  And this, in turn, LIBERATED MY SOUL.

How selfish is that?

I did it!

I. Completed. A. Half. Marathon.  I can't believe that's true!  As someone who has struggled with their weight all their lives, and has never really been an overly fit or athletic person, this is not something I ever thought I could accomplish.  Just a year ago I was struggling, begging my running friends for advice on how to get past the wall I was hitting at the 7K mark.  Then 10K became my new weekly long run, followed by 12K, followed by 15 ... When I completed my first 18K I realized I was a week behind in my  training and begged John Stanton, the running guru, for advice.

The day of the marathon I was nervous.  I had never EVER run more than 18K and here I was thinking I could run 21?  And in less than 2.5 hours?  Seriously, I must have lost my mind.  But as fellow runners gathered at the start line, I blocked out my own negative thoughts, and those of certain people around me who said I should not be disappointed if I couldn't meet my goal (seriously, that alone gave me the gusto to git 'er done!), and started to get excited.

I hooked up with the 2:30 pace bunny and took off.  As you should, we started out slowly in an effort to save our energy for the final portion of the race.  By the 2nd half of the race I was feeling awesome and even pushed ahead of our group a little bit, thinking I must have been so much stronger than I initially felt and would probably finish at least an hour ahead of that crew.  Of course, this was just my foolish delirium as a newbie running in the heat and they quickly caught up with me (without much effort on their part, I might add).

The final leg of the race was gruelling.  As I rounded the corner to the 18K mark my mind started to tell my body I wasn't going to be able to go any farther than I had run in the past.  That at 18K I would literally hit a wall and fall straight backwards like some sort of Saturday morning cartoon character.  But then up ahead I saw a beautiful sight ... my wonderful husband and darling daughter cheering me on from a gas station parking lot.  The sounds of "yay, Mommy!" and my family's big smiles, my daughter carrying a sign from a friend (upside down, but nonetheless), gave me the energy to keep going ... with a smile on my face, tears on my cheeks and a lump in my throat, I high-fived my daughter and pushed on.

The final 1/2K was on the university's track.  It was littered with encouraging spectators and volunteers, applauding and cheering on the final few meters.  But the thing that dragged my sorry, tired butt to the end was seeing my family & friends, and then hearing them announce my name over the loud speaker as my chip crossed the finish line.

I am proud of my accomplishment.  But more than that, I am surprised that crossing "completion of a half marathon" off of my bucket list has just made me add more to the bucket ...

Hmm.  Which half marathon will I do next????

Them Bones Them Bones

The old girl's bones ain't what they used to be.  She's been struggling getting comfortable on the floor for a while now so, in an effort to keep her off our leather couch, we bought Cleo a new bed.  She loves it and spends lots of time there.  Not alone, mind you.  Apparently someone else's bones are also a little sensitive, at least to hear Suki tell it.

Fortunately, the bed is big enough for two and they're cool with sharing.  I wonder if Abbey, the oldest furry member of our household, would wanna join in on the fun?